As a trainee Early Years teacher rehearsing the Christmas play with my Reception class, I realised a group of children were being unusually quiet. I knelt down next to them, encouraging them to sing more loudly. One boy turned, looked at me blankly and sneezed right in my face! And so Snotty McGrotty was born: the 6 year old boy with Niagara Falls-like torrents of cascading snot; sneeze sprays more epic than any summer garden hosepipe-battle; a child-size, rocket-propelled coughing machine. But fear not dear reader. Snotty McGrotty learns the error of his ways and is here to save you all from a similar snot-filled fate!