'I don't play cards with men named Doc, or eat at places called Mom's. Or drink before I burgle. . . . It is, I should point out, not a career I would recommend for anyone. The fact that I evidently can't give it up doesn't mean I'm not well aware of the disagreeably sordid nature of what I do.' - Bernie Rhodenbarr

When a friend suggests that Bernie Rhodenbarr burglarize a romantic rival's home, Bernie is happy to oblige. For him, burglary is more than a career, it's his favorite hobby. Along with lesbian friend Caroline Kaiser, Bernie is overjoyed to find a safe full of cash-cash for which income taxes had not been paid and for which a police report is unlikely. And for once in a Bernie Rhodenbarr story, there isn't even a dead body in the house. At least not yet. Because a nearby home had also been burglarized and in that robbery, three people had died. The police recognize Bernie from a nearby bank ATM camera and soon he's in the newspapers as the suspect.

A good lawyer soon gets Bernie out of jail, but he isn't out of trouble. Because criminals read the newspapers and now they think that Bernie has whatever was missing from the robbery gone bad. Unless Bernie can come up with the truth, he's in for some serious trouble from some very bad people. Fortunately, Bernie is good at finding the truth. Better yet for Bernie, an incidental burglary leads to a relationship with a beautiful lawyer. If he can stay alive long enough to enjoy it, he's got it made