Literary agent Anthea Landau, legendary resident of the Paddington Hotel, is auctioning off her personal correspondence from enigmatic writer Gulliver Fairborn. The reclusive Fairborn can't afford to outbid the collectors who are fighting to get their hands on the letters. Bernie Rhodenbarr's at the Paddington Hotel to make sure they never do. Bernie breaks into Anthea Landua's suite. And finds her...dead. The police burst in, and Bernie takes a fire escape down to an empty room, where he quietly pockets some nice ruby jewellery. Minutes later, he is under arrest.

When Bernie is bailed out, he learns that the gems were heisted the night before he stole them. Now, to clear his name and right some terrible wrongs, Bernie must solve a murder or two, track down a rival jewel thief, retrieve the missing letters, find the rubies' rightful owner, and still manage to protect the elusive Gulliver Fairborn...without getting caught.