Ranging from Freud to Hitchcock, from Dracula to Jane Austen, and from Agatha Christie to Greek tragedy, this contribution to the field of gender studies aims to tease out surprising insights of contemporary psychoanalysis to show why there is little chance of a harmonious relationship between a man and a woman. It suggests what it might be that Claudia Schiffer sees in the magician David Copperfield, and why women are more likely than men to fantasize about making love in public.