Who's up for crashing retirement parties? With so many baby boomers bidding adieu, there's no shortage of workplace send-offs.
And it doesn't matter who's saying goodbye. So what if we've never worked with, talked to, or heard of Larry from accounting or Betty from payroll.
It's not like we're pulling a Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson and crashing weddings as supposed friends of the bride or groom.
Everyone's family here at work.
Showing up for a stranger's party is proof positive that we're team players who care. And that, my friend, is the kind of reputation that gets you hand-picked for high-profile special projects where the fun never ends and the pay, perks and expense accounts have no limits.
Not all send-offs are created equal, so let's pick our spots. For something more than a Costco slab cake and lukewarm Pepsi served in an otherwise empty room, watch for retiring management types.
Expect a spread that rivals what the executives grazed on during a career of endless meetings.
Equally excellent are standing-room-only retirement parties for the happy, hard-working little people who are known by all and loved by many.
Of course, we're crashing parties to do more than scarf back snacks and escape our desks for a half hour of sanctioned social time.
Our mission? Hobnob with senior execs who've cleared 20 minutes on their calendars, wandered out of their inner sanctums and cut the tether to their Crackberries.
If we don't get face time with those who have the power to promote us, let's hijack them later in hallways and rave about their witty and heartfelt speeches, the ones that were written in mere minutes by their frantic personal assistants who flew into HR and yanked the personnel files of the dearly departing.
Yes, retirement parties can be a wonderful networking opportunity if you're an ambitious Gen Xer or Nexter looking to move up in the world.
It's less than wonderful if you're running the show. Not only is so much experience and expertise walking out the door -- other employers are aggressively courting and poaching whoever's left standing and your best and brightest have long since lost any sense of loyalty.
Smart organizations are going on the offensive and fundamentally rethinking the way talent is evaluated, recruited, trained, retained and promoted, claim authors Hank Stringer and Rusty Rueff.
The more you can put the right person with the right attitude, experience and skills in the right place at the right time, the better off your business will be, say the authors.
Every organization that wants to remain competitive must create a plan to acquire the right talent and ensure that talent is available for the work that needs to be done today and in the future.
Stringer and Rueff recommend investing heavily in websites, podcasts, VCasts and blogs to promote your talent brand and build your talent pool
Complementing your high-tech investments is old-fashioned, high-touch relationship recruiting. Hiring a Chief Talent Officer and a small army of recruiters will prove to be a very wise investment.
And thanks to the wonders of technology, your recruiters should be pushing less paper and talking with more people.
Only a person, a skilled relationship recruiter, can look into people's eyes, shake their hands, ask them questions and formulate a rich, nuanced, social understanding of each unique answer.
Talent Force will be a wake-up call to any employer who's taking the human side of business for granted and neglecting the one and only true competitive advantage -- the talent force.
If you don't get your act together, you may soon find yourself planning both retirement parties and a going-out-of-business wake.
--Jay Robb, The Hamilton Spectator, 6/30/06
