`People say puberty is a bad time for a kid but in my view it's not a patch on getting born. Getting born is a bastard. It's a free-fall bungee jump without a rope . . . You get a lot of time to think when you're banged up in a womb all day. Will I be handsome? Will I be rich? I pondered these questions long and hard till in the end I just thought, "Que sera, sera." No, I ask only two things of life, courage and dignity. Well, three things if you include the ability to shit Maltesers . . .'

From opinionated foetus to fiercely proud father, the wealth of Rab's wisdom and acute philosophical ramblings make A Stranger Here Myself one of the funniest and most refreshing novels, ever.