Ozzy Osbourne has always been able to give as good as he gets, seemingly oblivious to nasty band break-ups, rip-offs, alcoholism and even a reputation for eating live animals in public. Yet somehow Ozzy, ever invincible, comes up smiling. Nowadays, he's a hero to millions of metal boys, the patron of Ozzfest, and miraculously, still standing tall and proud. Here's Ozzy's own take on everything, from the Birmingham slaughterhouse through Black Sabbath to his solo career and Ozzfest, in his own inimitable words.