Hap Collins is feeling old. Working nights as a bouncer, living his days by the grace of his best buddy Leonard Pine and his good woman Brett Sawyer, he's greying at the temples, thickening at the middle and he feels that bad things are coming. They are. Brett's teenage daughter Tillie has taken to drugs and prostitution and needs rescuing. Quickly. The boys have to set out for Hootie Hoot, Oklahoma, a place even more godforsaken than it sounds. On the road, their motley band expands to include a six-four ex-Pentecostal preacher and hitman, plus his brother, a red-headed midget with an attitude. Not to mention Leonard's adopted son, Bob the armadillo. As road trips go, Hap's had quieter ones.