Cranky Old Golfers by Forrester Mitchell
People who play golf are, by and large, perfect gentlemen, and ladies. It is, after all, a sport which takes pride in fair play, etiquette, good manners and consideration for others. Golf is also a rollercoaster sport, a game of outrageous fortunes that makes you feel like a Tiger one minute and a tame pussy the next. The great moments are few and far between, but it is these that keep you coming back. A stinker of a round, which would make Saint Andrew cranky as hell, will be soon forgotten if you can play a few holes well, strike the ball beautifully and pick up a par or two. It's not surprising that many older players well and truly justify the description of Cranky Old Golfers (COGs). Golf provides them with unlimited opportunities for a good moan and groan. COGs are by definition found in the seniors section, and they gather in great numbers at every golf club in the land, most mornings. `Cranky' is, of course, a perfectly normal condition for a golfer. All golfers are cranky some of the time. COGs are much more irascible than other golfers however; they have been playing golf a lot longer, and the trials and tribulations of golf have taken a toll on their nervous systems. COGs can find fault in almost any situation or anybody and are easily wound up, COGs have perfected the art of giving withering stares when players inadvertently break a silence at tee off, or when they spot a visitor with the wrong type of socks or, worse, an untucked shirt.....!